G: Nobody gets the girl.PG: The good guy gets the girl.R: The bad guy gets the girl.X: Everybody gets the girl!

It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out. The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass" The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass." Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."

Experts say that although Frank Sinatra is dead, his act is still 150% moreentertaining than Frank Sinatra Jr.'s.

Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died.Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is."Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground."What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger."Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman."They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger."Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"

Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"? Two 5 year olds.

What's black and white and comes in little cans?Michael Jackson

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. "Superman don't need no seat belt," Ali growled. "Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane!"

What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?He was allergic to carrots.